Up for a game of snakes and blabbers?

Let’s not beat around the bush anymore. 

If there was a fierce black-mouth Mamba slithering toward you right now, would you want me to shh or scream SNAKE? Obviously you would appreciate the heads up, but what if I told you that it was my job to feed that twisted serpent?

Think of that snake as Advertising incarnate. Yes, it is vicious, venomous, treacherous and terrifying, but without it the rats would take over and the owls would vanish. Markets would crash and cultures would crumble. No, it is not fair, or right or kind. It was never supposed to be.

The spine-chilling truth is that there are no burglar bars separating gentle persuasion from ruthless subjugation. Why do you think there are no laws against any form of mind control? Dead bolt up the nose serious! If there were, all the economic machines tearing at the delicate tummy of this planet would come to a grinding halt. That means ta-ta freedom and hello darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again.

The only way to survive and POSITIVELY THRIVE in this surreal carnival is to embrace the fact that you are the predator and the prey. Both the infectious vampire and the consuming zombie. 

The interweb has flipped the switch on corporate power and the days of mass media games are numbered. From the burnt ashes of the dictatorial blow horns an open two-way dialogue between advertiser and audience now stirs. The quicker we learn to roll with the punches the better the ride gets. Half the fun is proving the “experts” wrong and watching the lazy fibbers squirm.

The future belongs to the con-savvy digital adventurer slowly learning how to avoid irrelevant headlines and spot cosmetic angles from a cyber-mile away. Here are just some of the verbose voodoo to watch out for:

Perverted Logic – Nothing is better than making whoopee. Eating chocolate is better than nothing. Therefore, eating chocolate is better than making whoopee. (Momma said life is like a box of what?)

Deliciously Fallacious – It might taste like the packaging, but our cereal is part of a nutritious breakfast, therefore our cereal is nutritious. (Did you get it at all this morning? Cereal is not nutritious simply because it is part of breakfast.)

Double Binder – Has Robsa Bank made more or less profit since they started bullying the public out of their bus fare? (There are no clever press releases out of this one! If ‘yes’ they are guilty, if ‘no’ they are still guilty. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go and do not collect…)

Ambiguous Ambush – Everything tastes better with real teeth. This sticky black goo is better than everything, ergo fizzy drinks are better than having real teeth. (Why not? Nine out of every 770.5519% of needy dentists agree.)

The Windy Winder – If serving your children nuked rubber from a happy hole in the wall were not illegal, then our freaky meals would not be prohibited by the law. (He-I-He-I-Huh? This a sneaky example of using the claim as evidence because the only evidence is the claim. By the way, they are not one of my clients. Or are they?)

We live in bizarre times and I sincerely hope this little mouthful proves that it is still possible to gently persuade (or at the very least mildly entertain) your audience without resorting to outright deception to make a quick killing. Here abruptly ends my shameless exploitation of your curiosity. And look! Not even one airbrushed anorexic model in sight.

As a Deadly Persuasive Ghost Writer I help solo mavericks and visionary brands grab more eyeballs, touch more hearts, alter more minds, inspire more action and reach fatter wallets more often. I craft irresistible offers and weave engaging stories in tones and styles designed to spark conversations, trigger a positive response and make an unforgettable impact.

My mug may be sporting a devilish grin from my swanky one-man studio in Cape Town, but I live, work and play in the United States of Connectivity. That means I’m open to crazy briefs with ludicrous deadlines over email, fully verified with PayPal and never more than a quick Skype away. If you mean what you say, contact me and I will be happy to say what you mean in way you and your audience won’t soon forget. Drop me a line about your next insane idea today.

Yala,
Daniel
Be Good. Be Grand. _e Gone.

P.S. Don’t tell my Mom I work in advertising. She still thinks I’m a pimp at a strip club.

DFBothma.comDFBothma on LinkedinDFBothma on YouTubeDFBothma on Pinterest

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Truth in Advertising

What is real and what is really not? According to Shaw the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. Can you tell the difference between Truth and Advertising? This wicked viral clip from Agency SuperHeroes in Amsterdam proves that Advertising has an almost supernatural way of blurring the lines between reality and illusion. But wait, there’s more!

I feel the earth move under my feet…

Truth in Advertising

Original GINSU TV Ads

Achtung Baby!

Here be a collection of ads that you will not see on a billboard or bus stop near you. Enjoy.

  

“ECOHOLS”

Mad Men Ad Men - Punk Chevron

Mad Men Ad Men - Punk Chevron
Mad Men Ad Men - Punk Chevron

“Reality is easy. It’s deception that’s the hard work” – Lauryn Hill

Sources: Adbusters.org & ignant.de & JÖRN BEYER via Juxtapose

A proper gander at propaganda

Instead of conjuring up some vapid clinical description, here be a quick true story that I hope will demystify the clandestine art and perfected science of pure propaganda.

One upon a time…

…in a small Banana Republic far away in Yankee land there lived a man who wanted to sell more pianos. Everyday people would come to his piano shop and play, but then leave and never buy. The man knew of a Dark Wizard called syanreB famous for his miraculous powers to grant wishes and called upon him. In exchange for his soul, of course, the Dark Wizard spoke unto the man thusly: “First endeavour to develop public acceptance of the idea of a music room. Enhance the effectiveness and prestige of these rooms by putting in them rare and valuable tapestries. Persuade influential architects and decorators to include dedicated space for a grand music room. The man or woman who has a music room, or has arranged a corner of the parlour as a musical corner, will naturally think of buying a piano. It will come to him as his own idea.” The man did as he was commanded and  the pianos lived happily ever after.

Okay, but what is Propaganda?

According to Wikipedia “Propaganda is a form of communication that is aimed at influencing the attitude of a community toward some cause or position. Propaganda is usually repeated and dispersed over a wide variety of media in order to create the desired result in audience attitudes.”

According to Dictionary.com “Propaganda is information, ideas, or rumours deliberately spread widely to help or harm a person, group, movement or institution.”

According to Urban Dictionary “Propaganda is misinformation of any kind. That is nearly 98% of what you see, hear, learn, believe, and think on a daily basis. Nearly everything you are taught in school, told in church, and shown by the government.”

According to me “Propaganda is fun and should be mocked at every opportunity. It’s purpose is to appeal to the mass mind, not the thinking individual. The only true difference between hardcore propaganda and modern marketing is the quality of the graphics.”

Here be an exquisite collection of provocative spin for the novice and connoisseur alike. Feel free to spread as irresponsibly as possible.

Genuine Vintage Propaganda

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Positively Perverse Propaganda

Genuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy Propaganda

Social Media Propaganda

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Star Wars Propaganda

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Vintage Video Game Propaganda

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Comic Book Propaganda

“Victory gardens were vegetable, fruit and herb gardens planted during WWI and WWII to reduce pressure on  food supply. They were also considered a “morale booster” – Wikipedia

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Propaganda for a good cause?

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Soviet Space Propaganda

Conquest Conquest 11 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 10 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 09 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 06 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 08 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 07 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 05 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 06 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 03 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 04 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 02 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatial

 

Conquest Conquest 01 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatial

P.S. Sources: juxtapoz.com/stevethomasart.com + retronaut.co + laboiteverte.fr and way too many other websites to mention. Figured out the identity of the Dark Wizard yet? Spell his name backwards in Google and hit enter…

Spam, spam, wonderful spam!

Ever wondered where the word “spam” comes from?

Spam? Is that when you send lots of irrelevant garbage to people you want to annoy the hell out of? Although we use the word to refer to unsolicited email or network abuse, the term is in fact a portmanteau (vintage slang for combo) of the words “SPiced hAM”, first introduced to mystery meat lovers in 1937.

Can you say Creepy?
Vintage Housewife. I mean old spam ad.

Monty Python invented spam?

When Spam was excluded from the British food rationing during World War II a few hearty Brits decided to speak up. The Spam sketch was recorded on 25 June 1970 and aired on British TV as episode 25 of Monty Python’s Flying Circus. Watch the clip for 132 ways to say Spam!

How the term ‘spammer’ came to be is still shrouded in mystery but there is no doubt it originated on USENET (early web forum meets email that predates the internet by over a decade).

When the internet used to be called Arpanet, university students would send the words of the Monty Python skit to new users and crash their systems in the process. The idea of repeatedly sounding a single useless message over and over again obviously had something to do with it. Nudge, nudge, wink wink, know what I mean? 

In 1978 A salesman (naturally) commissioned a mercenary hacker to write code that would allow him to send his brochure to every user on the system. Gary Thuerk’ message got through and he was tarred and feathered as the first official spammer in history. Gary now calls himself the father of spam and works at Hewlett-Packard…

What about Radio Spam?

“In 1970 Monty Python’s Flying Circus lay in ruins, and then the words on the screen said…
The End.
P.S. If you are satisfied with those answers then so be it, but if you think there is more to it, here is my slightly twisted five cents. The canned product has nothing to do with it. I think the original word featured in the Monty Python song was ‘sperm’ and not ‘spam’…

Crow Murderous-Lee

Do not go gentle into that good night…

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light

by
Dylan Thomas

Everything you are about to discover is meant to act as vivid reminder of how short our little trot on this ball of rock really is. Carpe Diem, oh Captain, my Captain!

In a strange way this post is my personal tribute to arguably the greatest Martial Artist and Philosopher ever to walk this earth. Both Bruce and Brandon Lee were highly skilled martial artists and the strange coincidences regarding their deaths have puzzled me for a long time.

The official story is that Brandon was accidentally shot with a prop gun days before The Crow wrapped in 1993, and that Bruce died on the set of The Game of Death in 1973 due to overdosing on hashish. Obviously I don’t buy that and neither should you! Maybe it is just my freaky imagination, but does it not strike anyone else as odd that both films are still shrouded in mystery and deal with precisely the same prophetic themes?

The LAST Brandon Lee Interview

The final Brandon Lee interview shortly before his mysterious death on the set of The Crow. His answers are eerily prophetic, especially considering that his father also inexplicably died on the set of his last film. But, more about that later…

The LAST Brandon Lee Movie Poster

Did you see the subliminal message hidden in The Crow poster?

The LOST Bruce Lee Interview

 

The LAST Bruce Lee Movie Poster

There are 3 fighting Bruce Lee’s on this poster, 3 human skulls and the word “death” also appears 3 times. Coincidence? Sure why not? These things happen all the time…

Wrap your mind around the following and tell me it is all one big fluke:

  1. Bruce goes DOWN to the underworld, Brandon rises UP from the underworld.
  2. Both films were completed using reedited footage, stand-ins, and out-takes.
  3. Both films have supporting actors loading prop guns with live ammo.
  4. Bruce plays a Movie star in Game of Death, Brandon plays a Rock star in The Crow.
  5. Both characters are shot in the stomach by a racketeering syndicate.
  6. Both characters are assassinated by villains with special weapons.
  7. Both characters return from the dead with new faces and identities.
  8. Both men collapsed on a movie set and died shortly thereafter.
  9. Both men died of massive internal hemorrhaging. (Bruce from water on the brain and Brandon from a bullet lodged in his spine.)
  10. Both movies made cash for the same reasons that Batman and Nirvana still does.
  11. Brandon was set to get married after the “shoot”, and his character in The Crow dies the night before his wedding. The irony was not lost on the clever producers who dedicated The Crow to Brandon & Elize.
  12. Both Brandon and Bruce died days before their films wrapped.
  13. Enter the Dragon was released the same year Bruce died. Legend: The Bruce Lee Story was released the same year Brandon died. Both films made box office history.

And here is the flying kicker! Bruce Lee was knows as the “little Dragon” but, born “Lee Jun Fat” which means “to return or come again”. His superstitious opera singer father believed that an old Chinese merchant had cursed the men in their family, and later renamed Bruce “Sai Fon” which means “Little Phoenix”. Do the themes of death and resurrection, rise and fall, father and son not seem vaguely familiar?

Déjà vu Kiai!

***

And now for something completely flippant:

Bruce Lee plays Ping Pong with Nunchucks

Want to see Bruce Lee mop the floor with a hairy Chuck Norris?

Bruce Lee, The Karate Kid and Mr. Miagi selling Ice Tea?

***

A few of my favourite Bruce Lee quotes:

“Obey the principles without being bound by them.”

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“Knowledge will give you power, but character respect.”

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“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough: we must do.”

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“Those who are unaware they are walking in darkness will never seek the light.”

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“Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.”

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“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend.”

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“A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.”

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“All fixed set patterns are incapable of adaptability or pliability. The truth is outside of all fixed patterns.”

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“If you always put limit on everything you do, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”

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“Defeat is a state of mind; no one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality.”

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“Never waste energy on worries or negative thoughts, all problems are brought into existence -drop them.”

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“If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.”

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Guess who read Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich…