Up for a game of snakes and blabbers?

Let’s not beat around the bush anymore. 

If there was a fierce black-mouth Mamba slithering toward you right now, would you want me to shh or scream SNAKE? Obviously you would appreciate the heads up, but what if I told you that it was my job to feed that twisted serpent?

Think of that snake as Advertising incarnate. Yes, it is vicious, venomous, treacherous and terrifying, but without it the rats would take over and the owls would vanish. Markets would crash and cultures would crumble. No, it is not fair, or right or kind. It was never supposed to be.

The spine-chilling truth is that there are no burglar bars separating gentle persuasion from ruthless subjugation. Why do you think there are no laws against any form of mind control? Dead bolt up the nose serious! If there were, all the economic machines tearing at the delicate tummy of this planet would come to a grinding halt. That means ta-ta freedom and hello darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again.

The only way to survive and POSITIVELY THRIVE in this surreal carnival is to embrace the fact that you are the predator and the prey. Both the infectious vampire and the consuming zombie. 

The interweb has flipped the switch on corporate power and the days of mass media games are numbered. From the burnt ashes of the dictatorial blow horns an open two-way dialogue between advertiser and audience now stirs. The quicker we learn to roll with the punches the better the ride gets. Half the fun is proving the “experts” wrong and watching the lazy fibbers squirm.

The future belongs to the con-savvy digital adventurer slowly learning how to avoid irrelevant headlines and spot cosmetic angles from a cyber-mile away. Here are just some of the verbose voodoo to watch out for:

Perverted Logic – Nothing is better than making whoopee. Eating chocolate is better than nothing. Therefore, eating chocolate is better than making whoopee. (Momma said life is like a box of what?)

Deliciously Fallacious – It might taste like the packaging, but our cereal is part of a nutritious breakfast, therefore our cereal is nutritious. (Did you get it at all this morning? Cereal is not nutritious simply because it is part of breakfast.)

Double Binder – Has Robsa Bank made more or less profit since they started bullying the public out of their bus fare? (There are no clever press releases out of this one! If ‘yes’ they are guilty, if ‘no’ they are still guilty. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go and do not collect…)

Ambiguous Ambush – Everything tastes better with real teeth. This sticky black goo is better than everything, ergo fizzy drinks are better than having real teeth. (Why not? Nine out of every 770.5519% of needy dentists agree.)

The Windy Winder – If serving your children nuked rubber from a happy hole in the wall were not illegal, then our freaky meals would not be prohibited by the law. (He-I-He-I-Huh? This a sneaky example of using the claim as evidence because the only evidence is the claim. By the way, they are not one of my clients. Or are they?)

We live in bizarre times and I sincerely hope this little mouthful proves that it is still possible to gently persuade (or at the very least mildly entertain) your audience without resorting to outright deception to make a quick killing. Here abruptly ends my shameless exploitation of your curiosity. And look! Not even one airbrushed anorexic model in sight.

As a Deadly Persuasive Ghost Writer I help solo mavericks and visionary brands grab more eyeballs, touch more hearts, alter more minds, inspire more action and reach fatter wallets more often. I craft irresistible offers and weave engaging stories in tones and styles designed to spark conversations, trigger a positive response and make an unforgettable impact.

My mug may be sporting a devilish grin from my swanky one-man studio in Cape Town, but I live, work and play in the United States of Connectivity. That means I’m open to crazy briefs with ludicrous deadlines over email, fully verified with PayPal and never more than a quick Skype away. If you mean what you say, contact me and I will be happy to say what you mean in way you and your audience won’t soon forget. Drop me a line about your next insane idea today.

Yala,
Daniel
Be Good. Be Grand. _e Gone.

P.S. Don’t tell my Mom I work in advertising. She still thinks I’m a pimp at a strip club.

DFBothma.comDFBothma on LinkedinDFBothma on YouTubeDFBothma on Pinterest

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Advertisements

Truth in Advertising

What is real and what is really not? According to Shaw the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. Can you tell the difference between Truth and Advertising? This wicked viral clip from Agency SuperHeroes in Amsterdam proves that Advertising has an almost supernatural way of blurring the lines between reality and illusion. But wait, there’s more!

I feel the earth move under my feet…

Truth in Advertising

Original GINSU TV Ads

Achtung Baby!

Here be a collection of ads that you will not see on a billboard or bus stop near you. Enjoy.

  

“ECOHOLS”

Mad Men Ad Men - Punk Chevron

Mad Men Ad Men - Punk Chevron
Mad Men Ad Men - Punk Chevron

“Reality is easy. It’s deception that’s the hard work” – Lauryn Hill

Sources: Adbusters.org & ignant.de & JÖRN BEYER via Juxtapose

A proper gander at propaganda

Instead of conjuring up some vapid clinical description, here be a quick true story that I hope will demystify the clandestine art and perfected science of pure propaganda.

One upon a time…

…in a small Banana Republic far away in Yankee land there lived a man who wanted to sell more pianos. Everyday people would come to his piano shop and play, but then leave and never buy. The man knew of a Dark Wizard called syanreB famous for his miraculous powers to grant wishes and called upon him. In exchange for his soul, of course, the Dark Wizard spoke unto the man thusly: “First endeavour to develop public acceptance of the idea of a music room. Enhance the effectiveness and prestige of these rooms by putting in them rare and valuable tapestries. Persuade influential architects and decorators to include dedicated space for a grand music room. The man or woman who has a music room, or has arranged a corner of the parlour as a musical corner, will naturally think of buying a piano. It will come to him as his own idea.” The man did as he was commanded and  the pianos lived happily ever after.

Okay, but what is Propaganda?

According to Wikipedia “Propaganda is a form of communication that is aimed at influencing the attitude of a community toward some cause or position. Propaganda is usually repeated and dispersed over a wide variety of media in order to create the desired result in audience attitudes.”

According to Dictionary.com “Propaganda is information, ideas, or rumours deliberately spread widely to help or harm a person, group, movement or institution.”

According to Urban Dictionary “Propaganda is misinformation of any kind. That is nearly 98% of what you see, hear, learn, believe, and think on a daily basis. Nearly everything you are taught in school, told in church, and shown by the government.”

According to me “Propaganda is fun and should be mocked at every opportunity. It’s purpose is to appeal to the mass mind, not the thinking individual. The only true difference between hardcore propaganda and modern marketing is the quality of the graphics.”

Here be an exquisite collection of provocative spin for the novice and connoisseur alike. Feel free to spread as irresponsibly as possible.

Genuine Vintage Propaganda

PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket

Positively Perverse Propaganda

Genuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy PropagandaGenuine Pervy Propaganda, Genuine Pervy Propaganda

Social Media Propaganda

PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket

Star Wars Propaganda

PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket

Vintage Video Game Propaganda

PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket

Comic Book Propaganda

“Victory gardens were vegetable, fruit and herb gardens planted during WWI and WWII to reduce pressure on  food supply. They were also considered a “morale booster” – Wikipedia

PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket

Propaganda for a good cause?

PhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucketPhotobucket

 

Soviet Space Propaganda

Conquest Conquest 11 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 10 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 09 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 06 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 08 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 07 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 05 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 06 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 03 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 04 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatialConquest Conquest 02 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatial

 

Conquest Conquest 01 Soviet space propaganda and Soviet propaganda spatial

P.S. Sources: juxtapoz.com/stevethomasart.com + retronaut.co + laboiteverte.fr and way too many other websites to mention. Figured out the identity of the Dark Wizard yet? Spell his name backwards in Google and hit enter…

Spam, spam, wonderful spam!

Ever wondered where the word “spam” comes from?

Spam? Is that when you send lots of irrelevant garbage to people you want to annoy the hell out of? Although we use the word to refer to unsolicited email or network abuse, the term is in fact a portmanteau (vintage slang for combo) of the words “SPiced hAM”, first introduced to mystery meat lovers in 1937.

Can you say Creepy?
Vintage Housewife. I mean old spam ad.

Monty Python invented spam?

When Spam was excluded from the British food rationing during World War II a few hearty Brits decided to speak up. The Spam sketch was recorded on 25 June 1970 and aired on British TV as episode 25 of Monty Python’s Flying Circus. Watch the clip for 132 ways to say Spam!

How the term ‘spammer’ came to be is still shrouded in mystery but there is no doubt it originated on USENET (early web forum meets email that predates the internet by over a decade).

When the internet used to be called Arpanet, university students would send the words of the Monty Python skit to new users and crash their systems in the process. The idea of repeatedly sounding a single useless message over and over again obviously had something to do with it. Nudge, nudge, wink wink, know what I mean? 

In 1978 A salesman (naturally) commissioned a mercenary hacker to write code that would allow him to send his brochure to every user on the system. Gary Thuerk’ message got through and he was tarred and feathered as the first official spammer in history. Gary now calls himself the father of spam and works at Hewlett-Packard…

What about Radio Spam?

“In 1970 Monty Python’s Flying Circus lay in ruins, and then the words on the screen said…
The End.
P.S. If you are satisfied with those answers then so be it, but if you think there is more to it, here is my slightly twisted five cents. The canned product has nothing to do with it. I think the original word featured in the Monty Python song was ‘sperm’ and not ‘spam’…