Up for a game of snakes and blabbers?

Let’s not beat around the bush anymore. 

If there was a fierce black-mouth Mamba slithering toward you right now, would you want me to shh or scream SNAKE? Obviously you would appreciate the heads up, but what if I told you that it was my job to feed that twisted serpent?

Think of that snake as Advertising incarnate. Yes, it is vicious, venomous, treacherous and terrifying, but without it the rats would take over and the owls would vanish. Markets would crash and cultures would crumble. No, it is not fair, or right or kind. It was never supposed to be.

The spine-chilling truth is that there are no burglar bars separating gentle persuasion from ruthless subjugation. Why do you think there are no laws against any form of mind control? Dead bolt up the nose serious! If there were, all the economic machines tearing at the delicate tummy of this planet would come to a grinding halt. That means ta-ta freedom and hello darkness my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again.

The only way to survive and POSITIVELY THRIVE in this surreal carnival is to embrace the fact that you are the predator and the prey. Both the infectious vampire and the consuming zombie. 

The interweb has flipped the switch on corporate power and the days of mass media games are numbered. From the burnt ashes of the dictatorial blow horns an open two-way dialogue between advertiser and audience now stirs. The quicker we learn to roll with the punches the better the ride gets. Half the fun is proving the “experts” wrong and watching the lazy fibbers squirm.

The future belongs to the con-savvy digital adventurer slowly learning how to avoid irrelevant headlines and spot cosmetic angles from a cyber-mile away. Here are just some of the verbose voodoo to watch out for:

Perverted Logic – Nothing is better than making whoopee. Eating chocolate is better than nothing. Therefore, eating chocolate is better than making whoopee. (Momma said life is like a box of what?)

Deliciously Fallacious – It might taste like the packaging, but our cereal is part of a nutritious breakfast, therefore our cereal is nutritious. (Did you get it at all this morning? Cereal is not nutritious simply because it is part of breakfast.)

Double Binder – Has Robsa Bank made more or less profit since they started bullying the public out of their bus fare? (There are no clever press releases out of this one! If ‘yes’ they are guilty, if ‘no’ they are still guilty. Go directly to jail. Do not pass go and do not collect…)

Ambiguous Ambush – Everything tastes better with real teeth. This sticky black goo is better than everything, ergo fizzy drinks are better than having real teeth. (Why not? Nine out of every 770.5519% of needy dentists agree.)

The Windy Winder – If serving your children nuked rubber from a happy hole in the wall were not illegal, then our freaky meals would not be prohibited by the law. (He-I-He-I-Huh? This a sneaky example of using the claim as evidence because the only evidence is the claim. By the way, they are not one of my clients. Or are they?)

We live in bizarre times and I sincerely hope this little mouthful proves that it is still possible to gently persuade (or at the very least mildly entertain) your audience without resorting to outright deception to make a quick killing. Here abruptly ends my shameless exploitation of your curiosity. And look! Not even one airbrushed anorexic model in sight.

As a Deadly Persuasive Ghost Writer I help solo mavericks and visionary brands grab more eyeballs, touch more hearts, alter more minds, inspire more action and reach fatter wallets more often. I craft irresistible offers and weave engaging stories in tones and styles designed to spark conversations, trigger a positive response and make an unforgettable impact.

My mug may be sporting a devilish grin from my swanky one-man studio in Cape Town, but I live, work and play in the United States of Connectivity. That means I’m open to crazy briefs with ludicrous deadlines over email, fully verified with PayPal and never more than a quick Skype away. If you mean what you say, contact me and I will be happy to say what you mean in way you and your audience won’t soon forget. Drop me a line about your next insane idea today.

Be Good. Be Grand. _e Gone.

P.S. Don’t tell my Mom I work in advertising. She still thinks I’m a pimp at a strip club.

DFBothma.comDFBothma on LinkedinDFBothma on YouTubeDFBothma on Pinterest

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Living Movie Stills

“Viddy well, little brother. Viddy well.”

A Clockwork Orange (1971)

“In the industry, we call them cigarette burns.”

Fight Club (1999)

“Don’t you shush me! Eighteen years of total silence, and you shush me.”

Life of Brian (1979)

“Come! It is time to give the Machine-Man your face!”

Metropolis (1927)


“I’m just on my way up to Clavius.”

2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)

“Come play with us, Danny.”

“Hi, Lloyd. Little slow tonight, isn’t it?”

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

“I want you to like it here. I wish we could stay here forever… and ever… and ever.”

“Wendy, I’m home!”

Shining (1980)

“We accept the reality of the world with which we are presented.”

The Truman Show (1998)

“Good morning.”

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)

“Mr. President, I’m not saying we wouldn’t get our hair mussed. But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.”

Gee, I wish we had one of them doomsday machines.”

Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)

“At times like this, I wish I was but a simple peasant.”

The Pink Panther (1963)

“This ain’t killin’ for profit. This is ritual.”

From Hell (2001)

“He has his father’s eyes.” 

Rosemary’s Baby (1968)

“Why do you have to die to let go?”

Brainstorm (1983)

“I have your disease in me now.”

Blue Velvet (1986)

“Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don’t know why”

American Psycho (2000)

“And the eye-in-the-sky is watching us all.”

Casino (1995)

“I got some bad ideas in my head.”

Taxi Driver (1976)

“On the other side of the screen, it all looks so easy.”

Tron (1982)

“Micro-changes in air density, my ass.”

Alien (1979)



Crow Murderous-Lee

Do not go gentle into that good night…

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light

Dylan Thomas

Everything you are about to discover is meant to act as vivid reminder of how short our little trot on this ball of rock really is. Carpe Diem, oh Captain, my Captain!

In a strange way this post is my personal tribute to arguably the greatest Martial Artist and Philosopher ever to walk this earth. Both Bruce and Brandon Lee were highly skilled martial artists and the strange coincidences regarding their deaths have puzzled me for a long time.

The official story is that Brandon was accidentally shot with a prop gun days before The Crow wrapped in 1993, and that Bruce died on the set of The Game of Death in 1973 due to overdosing on hashish. Obviously I don’t buy that and neither should you! Maybe it is just my freaky imagination, but does it not strike anyone else as odd that both films are still shrouded in mystery and deal with precisely the same prophetic themes?

The LAST Brandon Lee Interview

The final Brandon Lee interview shortly before his mysterious death on the set of The Crow. His answers are eerily prophetic, especially considering that his father also inexplicably died on the set of his last film. But, more about that later…

The LAST Brandon Lee Movie Poster

Did you see the subliminal message hidden in The Crow poster?

The LOST Bruce Lee Interview


The LAST Bruce Lee Movie Poster

There are 3 fighting Bruce Lee’s on this poster, 3 human skulls and the word “death” also appears 3 times. Coincidence? Sure why not? These things happen all the time…

Wrap your mind around the following and tell me it is all one big fluke:

  1. Bruce goes DOWN to the underworld, Brandon rises UP from the underworld.
  2. Both films were completed using reedited footage, stand-ins, and out-takes.
  3. Both films have supporting actors loading prop guns with live ammo.
  4. Bruce plays a Movie star in Game of Death, Brandon plays a Rock star in The Crow.
  5. Both characters are shot in the stomach by a racketeering syndicate.
  6. Both characters are assassinated by villains with special weapons.
  7. Both characters return from the dead with new faces and identities.
  8. Both men collapsed on a movie set and died shortly thereafter.
  9. Both men died of massive internal hemorrhaging. (Bruce from water on the brain and Brandon from a bullet lodged in his spine.)
  10. Both movies made cash for the same reasons that Batman and Nirvana still does.
  11. Brandon was set to get married after the “shoot”, and his character in The Crow dies the night before his wedding. The irony was not lost on the clever producers who dedicated The Crow to Brandon & Elize.
  12. Both Brandon and Bruce died days before their films wrapped.
  13. Enter the Dragon was released the same year Bruce died. Legend: The Bruce Lee Story was released the same year Brandon died. Both films made box office history.

And here is the flying kicker! Bruce Lee was knows as the “little Dragon” but, born “Lee Jun Fat” which means “to return or come again”. His superstitious opera singer father believed that an old Chinese merchant had cursed the men in their family, and later renamed Bruce “Sai Fon” which means “Little Phoenix”. Do the themes of death and resurrection, rise and fall, father and son not seem vaguely familiar?

Déjà vu Kiai!


And now for something completely flippant:

Bruce Lee plays Ping Pong with Nunchucks

Want to see Bruce Lee mop the floor with a hairy Chuck Norris?

Bruce Lee, The Karate Kid and Mr. Miagi selling Ice Tea?


A few of my favourite Bruce Lee quotes:

“Obey the principles without being bound by them.”


“Knowledge will give you power, but character respect.”


“Knowing is not enough; we must apply. Willing is not enough: we must do.”


“Those who are unaware they are walking in darkness will never seek the light.”


“Notice that the stiffest tree is most easily cracked, while the bamboo or willow survives by bending with the wind.”


“Empty your mind, be formless. Shapeless, like water. If you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle and it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water my friend.”


“A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.”


“All fixed set patterns are incapable of adaptability or pliability. The truth is outside of all fixed patterns.”


“If you always put limit on everything you do, it will spread into your work and into your life. There are no limits. There are only plateaus, and you must not stay there, you must go beyond them.”


“Defeat is a state of mind; no one is ever defeated until defeat has been accepted as a reality.”


“Never waste energy on worries or negative thoughts, all problems are brought into existence -drop them.”


“If nothing within you stays rigid, outward things will disclose themselves.”


Guess who read Napoleon Hill’s Think and Grow Rich…


Wench of Gorgeous

Wench of Gorgeous

My awakened warrior woman in black,
fear not the spitting dragons we encounter
Clasp my hand, I have your sexy back
call and in your echo I will answer

My fiery fairy fighter queen
with fiercely loving heart as big
as conscience crystal clean
you intoxicate me with every swig

Blushing, sensual, & naughty,
untamed, unrestrained, & rough
elegantly graceful, delicate, & tough
wildly free, true, but never vain & haughty

Rooted deeper and denser than magic vines,
in shadows we play, fuse, cry, save & shine
More than birds sharing a nest & feathers,
penguins we are pebbled togethers forevers

– D.F. Bothma


Serving HungryVores

Serving HungryVores

Serving HungryVores

HungryVores of carn and omni!
Do you not smell the death so hot on your every breath?
While violence flows thickly from sickly fingers,
toxic deeds brings doom and disease that lingers

The mute nothing of demise shrieks ever closer,
but the breeze has shifted into a veil of mist now parting
Soon ye beautifully precious & beloved beasts,
shall ye inherit peace everlasting

If gorging on tender sentient flesh is so desired,
Why not personally prep your puppies for the pot?
Why be picky eaters if ‘tis truly the way you’re wired?
Why struggle so to connect the most obvious dot?

As meat-man’s blood moon wanes,
so my voiceless friends will no longer twist in pain
Soon ye delicately loveable & innocent creatures,
shall ye yet again rule this earthy domain

Tick- tock, the titanic tips for top homunculi,
stand up, speak out, it’s harm none ever or we all die
Glinting grim time razors in on all life unreserved,
wake now or soon it may be your own meat-suit you get served!

– D.F. Bothma


Pachy’s Tale


One day, not so long ago, in a country closer than you think…

…A young mute South African girl named Pachy was kidnapped by an international crime syndicate and sold into a life of slavery.

She had never known her real mother or father and couldn’t remember where she was born. All she could vaguely recollect was the warmth of the sun on her face and the gentle breeze stroking her short black hair. Because she was shy and could not speak, read, or write, Pachy became an easy target for the greedy moneymen and eventually ended up working in a travelling circus as a headline performer by night and lowly labourer by day.

Life on stage was tough, the hours were long and the food was horrible, but Pachy was grateful to be alive and never once complained, not even when she was whipped and chained to her bed between shows for not doing as she was told. She had learned early on that the louder you are, the more you’ll get punished, so not being able to scream worked in her favour, but not always.

News of Pachy’s fame spread like wildfire and on her 11th Birthday a lady with tears in her eyes came to take her away to a special home for orphans and runaways. Words fail to describe the joy, relief, and sheer exhilaration she felt when she arrived at her beautiful new home and met other playful girls just like her.

It turns out that the now smiling lady and her passionate friends were looking for Pachy ever since she was a baby and had fought long and hard to find and rescue her. Even though she may not be able to express her gratitude physically, and perhaps too young to understand what really happened, she is now learning how to live free for the first time in her life.

Now imagine that the gruesome little fairy tale you just read is not about the plight of a severely abused human girl, but the true story of a magnificent African Pachy-derm rescued from unspeakable cruelty by a small group of caring, compassionate and heroic humans.

She and other sentient beings like her are no less real, precious, or in need of protection than any child you may know by name. Let her tale serve as a reminder that the only way we are all going to live happily ever after is by treating all life as precious, regardless of whether we give “it” a name, or not.

The end.

Featured image courtesy of Gregory Colbert


Being VEGAN is easy! It’s Going Vegan That’s The Hard Part

Veganism is not a cult, a belief system or for everyone. It’s a personal choice to not partake in the exploitation of animals wherever and whenever possible and reserved for only the strong!

Vegan is so the wrong term to describe: “compassionate humans who refuse to partake in the murder and exploitation of sentient beings”. Vegetarians follow a meat-free diet, drink milk, wear musk perfume, and buy leather. Vegans follow a plant-based lifestyle and refuse to be caught dead sucking on other animals, smelling like deer balls, or wearing the skin of a slaughtered creature. Once your mind has clicked over, there is no going back, your palate will follow suit and soon you will discover what food was meant to be.

But BEWARE! Your family will think you are insane! Your BBQ buddies will shun you, strangers will mock you, and for some inexplicable reason you will transform into an animal activist overnight, but wait, there’s more… The best part is that once you’ve made the decision and conquered the short, but deeply intense “dark night of the soul” that follows, you will no longer be poisoning your body, increasing the demand for death and agony crystallised into rotting flesh, or aid in the destruction of life for profit. You will also outlive every single one of your critics, but that’s just a happy side effect.

It takes confidence to order off the menu everywhere you go, but you will be gobsmacked at how many chefs relish the opportunity to be creative, not to mention conjure up a designer Vegan dish for a someone who promises to post said culinary masterpiece on Facebook, nudge-nudge-wink-wink!

If in doubt, simply watch Earthlings… Again.



Truth in Advertising

What is real and what is really not? According to Shaw the single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place. Can you tell the difference between Truth and Advertising? This wicked viral clip from Agency SuperHeroes in Amsterdam proves that Advertising has an almost supernatural way of blurring the lines between reality and illusion. But wait, there’s more!

I feel the earth move under my feet…

Truth in Advertising

Original GINSU TV Ads

Achtung Baby!

Here be a collection of ads that you will not see on a billboard or bus stop near you. Enjoy.



Mad Men Ad Men - Punk Chevron

Mad Men Ad Men - Punk Chevron
Mad Men Ad Men - Punk Chevron

“Reality is easy. It’s deception that’s the hard work” – Lauryn Hill

Sources: & & JÖRN BEYER via Juxtapose